Home Sweet Home? *Continued..

Just like I mentioned yesterday, they wake up so early and talk so loud. I yelled to them to please be quiet since I'm still trying to sleep. My dad replied "Oh, we didn't even know you were here". Yes 'dad'. I kind of figured that. You haven't known that I've been here for a while. It's because you don't care. I don't matter to you anymore.

I couldn't fall back asleep after this and overheard 15 minutes later 'she' was telling my dad and her kids to get ready. They're going somewhere. Together. Not me though. They wont even tell me that they are going to leave. My dad used to, but people change I suppose.

I asked my dad a couple months ago if we could paint my bedroom, but he replied "once we get the house cleaned up and it painted first". We still haven't even started that, but yet he tells my sister this morning while he thinks I'm asleep, "After we fix your door frame, we'll paint your room". Oh really? That's so sweet of you to do that for her, but what about me? I AM the one who asked way before her. Why can't we both have our rooms painted? Whatever. I'll just do it myself and not tell you about it. It's not like you would care anyway. You think I'm always gone.

'She' tells her kid to watch her baby. Wtf? Why can't she do it herself? Because she's locked in the room with my dad all day. Just like it's always been. Take care of your own kids! You're the one who decided to have seven!

Home Sweet Home?

I seem to be losing my father and sister. It changed ever since 'she' started staying at my dads with her five kids. I didn't seem to like her in the beginning, as well as my sister, and I am still on my way to getting to know her better. My sister, I believe, had moved to her side. The longer 'she' stays, the longer I drift away from my dad and sister. We used to try making plans together; all of us (me, dad, sister). Not just everyone (dad, sister, 'she', and her five kids) excluding me. He used to care. He used to make me "check-in". Now it's as if I'm invisible. I basically live at my boyfriends now throughout the day, and sleep at my dads for the night. That's how much we've drifted apart since all this, which happened only about a month ago. It's like I never existed to my dad and my sister. As if my dad and 'she' have always been together. It's not going to last between them. My dad can never keep a relationship, and they both argue just like my dad has with every other girlfriend he has dated in the past. But why is this relationship lasting longer than any other he has had? Is it due to the fact that I don't like all this? That I don't like the screaming kids at 10 at night and 7:30 in the morning? Maybe she wants another kid? Or maybe my dad wants to get her pregnant so it'll be another kid without a dad? He does everything with them, -EVERYTHING (bowling, dinner, games)! Do I just want to gain back that attention that I once had when I was three? I do. I do want that attention again. I miss my dad. I miss him.